


Another Fine Edition of You

by starsonthebrow



Category: The Mighty Boosh RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Art Shows, Crossdressing, M/M, going commando
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:55:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25369465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsonthebrow/pseuds/starsonthebrow
Summary: “At my art opening, I wore a dress, and I didn’t…I just, at one point I just took my pants off. "Noel displays his artwork in various interesting ways during his second art showing at Maison Bertaux.
Relationships: Julian Barratt/Noel Fielding
Comments: 11
Kudos: 19





	Another Fine Edition of You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kateyboosh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kateyboosh/gifts).



> After we finished screaming about Noel's segment in [this interview](https://youtu.be/hhn7xZNCdEw) [kateyboosh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kateyboosh) and I agreed this definitely needs to be ficced, so here is my humble contribution. 
> 
> While it is entirely based on Noel actually admitting to being a little tart at his art show I've taken certain liberties with how the night's events unfolded. ([Or have I?](https://i.ibb.co/0qqnPQP/9af6a7cb422ed3437594cb79b3970e1f2242e875.gif) I guess we'll never truly know.)

Noel: “I sometimes wear dresses, I don’t know If you wear dresses, do you wear dresses?”  
Vic: “Yeah”  
Noel: “At my art opening, I wore a dress, and I didn’t…I just, at one point I just took my pants off. You’d be talking to people, like I talked to the mayor of Camden –“  
Vic: “Was it a mini?”  
Noel: “It was quite short, yeah. I was talking to the mayor of Camden, at one point, and I felt free. (laughs) I could feel the air, blowing up me.”  
Vic: “And all around ya, and in ya”  
Noel: “And I’m sure, I could see, although he didn’t, he didn’t sort of, um, mention it, I could tell that the mayor of Camden knew. There was something about it that was beautiful.”

2010

Soho’s oldest pâtisserie is bursting at the seams with people. Vibrant canvases of Jelly Foxes among other curious creatures and portraits are displayed showcasing a mind full of whimsy. Patrons move slowly through the bakery studying the colorful pieces that line the shop’s walls. Friends and family mingle among musicians, artists and comedians with names that will be dropped in the papers and internet forums. 

Noel is buzzing off the energy in the small bakery turned art gallery. He sips champagne feeling almost frenzied while making his rounds, throwing out kisses and chatting animatedly with the visitors. He is overjoyed with the response and the turn out so far to his second art showing. 

Noel likes a bit of attention swung his way if he’s in the right mood, especially when he’s in performance mode. Tonight he’s proud of the work he’s finished and displayed and he’s in rare form. 

Before the show he carefully applied his Salamando face, contoured pale white face in contrast to large black framed eyes and hugely exaggerated red lips. The makeup is just the right absurd contrast to accompany his blue polka dotted babydoll dress. He’s cut off a bottom portion of the already mini dress to use as a headband to tie back his raven hair. He feels sexy with the dress hanging just mid thigh to reveal the muscle and skin there down to the tops of his golden leather Sunflash boots that begin just below his knees. A large velvet bow tie hangs at his neck to complete the ensemble. 

This look is just the boost he needs to be fine with chatting up strangers and friends alike. His bright smile seems to transform into a leer under the clownish makeup as he works the room. The crowd looks on amusedly while he poses for pictures with wild eyes and arms thrown out, the center of his own circus. 

Julian is chatting with Dave when Noel finally spots him from across the room. He is clean shaven, his usual mustache replaced with just a hint of shadow. He almost looks like the Julian Noel met all those years ago doing stand up, baby fresh faced with curls hanging over his forehead. Although the years have filled him out and added some lines to his face, Noel still feels a familiar wave of yearning when Julian’s eyes crinkle around a smile. 

Noel moves with a purpose through the crowd toward Julian and buries his face into his neck for a quick hug, careful to avoid wiping makeup on his white button up and tweed jacket. 

“It’s brilliant, but maybe some Bryan Ferry can bring it together?” Julian assesses. 

Noel bends his head forward and laughs, reaching up nervously to fiddle with his headband. He looks around as if to take it all in and answers back, “Yeah could’ve done with a bit more Bryan, definitely.” 

They hold their gaze for a beat longer than necessary and Julian smiles, letting his eyes fall away. 

Noel has known Julian a decade longer than most of these people, but he feels almost awkward in this situation around him, not sure what to say or what to do with his hands. 

The crowd moves around them and Julian puts an arm around his neck, resting his hand on his shoulder in their accustomed pose. Man and Wife. Julian curls his fingers toward Noel’s neck, pulls him toward him so he can lean closer to his ear. ‘It’s fantastic, really. You should be proud.” 

Noel beams up at him, feeling a bit giddy. Julian approves, all's right with the world. He could ride out the rest of the night on that compliment alone. He smiles and shyly says “Thanks Ju, I’m glad you’re here.” 

Julian squeezes his shoulder and gives him a wink before dropping his hand. Noel feels just a dip of disappointment at the loss of contact before he’s being tugged around to speak with a journalist. 

After the interview Noel is having a moment to himself in the powder room touching up his painted face when he gets the idea. In the mirror he smooths down the lines of his dress and slides his hands down his torso until he reaches the seam of his pale blue pants underneath. He meets his own eyes and a flutter of exhilaration shoots through his chest. _Surely no-one would notice_ he considers. 

Before he can think too much he slides the pants down his thighs and over his boots, tucking them in the front pocket of his little dress. He makes one last assessment of his profile, assuring nothing is too obvious before he smiles to himself and returns to the party. 

The room is more packed now than before, sticky with the heat of too many people in such a small space. The air circulating around his parts below the dress feels good though. It’s freeing, he thinks as he works through the crowd with his little (well, maybe not so little) secret just there under the thin fabric as he talks and mingles. He likes feeling sensual in a dress. It’s not the first time he’s worn a dress pants less either, but it all feels naughtier in this setting. The buzz of the crowd and champagne and the excitement makes him feel lightheaded and crazed. He talks with the mayor of Camden and smiles delightfully when the photographers flash the cameras their way. 

Downstairs, Julian is studying an installation of tens of Bryan Ferry's of various shapes and styles framed on the white walls. The highlight here is, oddly, a bed that takes up half the space of the small room topped with a white duvet with narrative written in tall looping handwriting across the soft fabric. Yet another portrait of Ferry stands at the head of the bed tucked into the duvet as if taking a nice sleep. His large Ferry shoes are placed below. 

Julian shakes his head at the Noelness of it all. He feels an overwhelming fondness looking at the strange wonderland of his friend’s brain materialized into reality. He’s of course used to Noel’s odd ideas. They have dreamed and created so much together in their long partnership that he feels like they sometimes share a brain. Seeing Noel’s solo work always sends a tiny jolt through him though. No matter how well he thinks he knows the younger man, there’s always something new to discover, evident in the brushstrokes and fingerprints of his art. 

Noel finally catches up to Julian again on his way up the stairs and pulls him toward a quieter corner. There is an impossible amount of art in smaller sizes hung in this tight area and Julian marvels at how much work Noel has done to be able to display this much. 

Noel examines Julian’s face as his eyes move over his paintings. He reaches out to smooth over Julian’s jacket and says “I keep trying to make it over to you.” 

Julian looks down at him, “S’Alright, you’re meant to be mingling aren’t you? Not entertaining me.” 

Noel lets the loaded statement go, but he can’t help the dirty grin that slides onto his face. The tiny dress, the manic energy and being this close is threatening to create a wardrobe situation that he definitely cannot hide without carefully positioned props. He imagines drifting through the rooms holding one of his Bryan Ferry face masks conspicuously in front of his crotch. 

If Julian senses the tension he doesn’t move to diffuse it. “It’s a nice look, this.” He says, a laugh in his voice, referring to Noel’s alter-art-ego. He reaches out to softly place his hands on Noel’s hips. Just a hint of a touch before he’s pulling back, clearing his throat. He looks a bit pained, as if he’s disappointed they aren’t entirely alone. 

Noel tilts his head, eyes locked into Julian’s. For a moment he considers pulling Julian’s big hands around him, having him feel the thin material around his arse that leaves no doubt there’s nothing underneath. Too obvious in this room though. 

Then a delicious thought crosses his mind. Before he can control himself he plucks his small pair of pants out of his pocket and quickly tucks them into Julian’s suit jacket pocket, giving it a little pat. 

“You’re sticking around for a bit, yeah?” He says, keeping his tone normal but eyes practically wicked as he backs away into the fray of the crowd. Even as various people reach out for this attention he keeps his eyes on Julian, watches as he reaches to feel at the material within his pocket. 

Julian’s realization is a look that is equal parts astonishment and equal parts _you little tart._

Noel is pretending to be engrossed in a conversation about oils vs acrylics, but he sneaks a look and Julian locks into his stare. From across the room he can see just the slightest arch of his brow, that familiar wolfish grin forming on his lips. Noel yanks his eyes away to grab at a fresh champagne glass before he can feel the full brunt of that grin. 

He prefers oils now he says, nodding his head earnestly. He determinedly avoids Julian’s eyes as he brings his champagne glass to his lips to hide his grin. Brilliant idea, he thinks.

*

After strutting about for a bit giddy with mischief, Noel is reevaluating the brilliance of his plan when he realizes that Julian’s reaction is making it entirely too difficult for him to stay focused and keep his dick under control. He has been giving it little pep talks begging it to behave.

He expected demure Julian to blush and chuckle and immediately slink off to reappear later in the night possibly ready for a quick feel up somewhere quiet. Instead, when Noel looks up again to find him, Julian does not shy away, but holds his gaze. His lips twitch into a smirk before he pointedly lets his eyes drag all the way down Noel’s body and back to meet his eyes. Noel feels a flush creep from his hairline to his toes. 

Julian doesn’t give himself away very much. He’s much more prone to simply averting his eyes or scratching his chin in response to Noel’s shameless flirting. Noel now knows how to read the otherwise mundane little gestures that will mean he’ll be pushed against the nearest flat surface and paid back the next time they’re alone. 

Tonight though he has remained firmly planted in Noel’s periphery. Granted, not entirely difficult to do in such a small area, but Noel is fully aware of Julian’s eyes following him as he dances around the room trying to make small talk about his pieces.

It is undoing him. He squirms in his dress and fidgets with his hair feeling hot and restless. When he tries to meet his eye, Julian shifts easily back into conversation with those around him as if he’s not just been lazering his eyes through Noel’s dress. 

When they end up close to each other Julian moves to slide by him and as if to steady himself through the crowd places a hand between Noel’s shoulder blades and slides it down along his spine to the small of his back. The touch is innocent under any other circumstances, but tonight it sends sparks straight to Noel’s cock. He excuses himself and stalks after Julian on his way to the small loo. 

Noel is pushing him through the door before he can stop himself. There’s no lock on the main door so he pushes Julian against it to keep it closed. Noel knows even a kiss would be too evident with his red smeared lips, so acting on anything here is out of the question. He lets out a moan of frustration burying his head into Julian’s neck and wrapping his arms around him. "Stay and close up with me?" he asks, breath hot against his neck. 

Julian laughs against him. “That’s the line you're using then?” He’s already got his arms around Noel, but gestures toward his pocket, “Maybe I’ll just take these and have some fun with them.” 

Noel looks up at him, mock scandalized, “You kinky bastard.” 

Julian rolls his eyes, “Like you can talk, prancing around with your dick out, swinging about.” 

Noel fakes a pout, “It feels nice, beautiful.” Julian lets out a huff.

Noel looks up at him, all dark innocence, "You fucking love it though." He presses his body tighter against the bigger man.

"Hmmm…" Julian raises his eyebrows, shrugs a shoulder. He affirms his approval by sliding his hands down over the back of Noel's dress, over his shoulders, down the gentle curve of his back, over his arse. He reaches to find the cut off bottom, hitching the thin fabric up slowly, letting his fingers play along the wiry muscle of the back of Noel's thighs. Both men are watching the progression of his hands in the bathroom mirror opposite as he pulls the dress higher, revealing more flesh. 

Noel is trying to breathe evenly against Julian's chest as he watches and feels Julian's hands move upward. His cock stirs and he brings one hand to cover his eyes as if it's too much to watch. Julian pulls up the dress more and reveals just the under curve of Noel's bottom, letting his fingers linger, just playing along the contour of the exposed skin. A breathy laugh escapes Noel’s mouth along with a whispered husky _"Ju."_

As if on cue a loud knock on the door startles both of them apart. Noel tugs at his dress and nearly trips over his own feet. Julian stays leaned against the door, holding it closed but clears his throat and shakily yells out a “Yeah, just a minute!” as Noel looks at him wide eyed.

Trying to will blood back to his brain, Noel reaches over to start the tap, letting the water flow as if someone is washing up. He has an evident bulge now to his babydoll dress. Julian adjusts himself and tries to look cool, but his face is flushed quite red. Noel looks at him with an expression of “What now?”

Before Noel can figure out how to explain why they’ve propped the loo closed together, Julian nonchalantly pulls the door open and exits. “Sorry mate,” he says to the guy waiting. “Helping him with his zipper...” He lets out a ridiculous laugh and the guy waiting seems taken aback for a beat but laughs with him anyway as if he’s in on the joke. Noel dips his head and follows, giggling as the door closes behind the man. Julian’s always good in a crisis. 

They spend the rest of the night orbiting each other and trying mostly to behave. By the time the art’s been fully viewed and the pieces claimed, Noel feels like he’s been tied in knots. He is riding high on the response to his sell out show and aching to get to Julian to finish what they started. 

When the crowd starts to dissipate Noel meets with Tania, the gallery owner, to finish up some business and Julian stands outside to have a cigarette. There’s really not much to pack up and take home tonight, but Noel makes a show of needing to stay behind. He’ll lock up, it’s fine. Julian will help and they’ll grab a taxi, he explains. Then the gallery is mercifully silent and empty. 

Noel takes a few minutes at the loo sink to wipe off his makeup. He peers up at the mirror and does the best he can, seeing himself start to bleed back through the makeup. He’s able to scrub most of the red lip off with some remover, but the black eyes will be difficult until he can shower. His heart flutters with excitement when he hears the door to the shop open and close and Julian’s heavy steps break through the silence. He hurries to finish, removes his bow tie, pulls the headband out of his hair and ruffles his messy hair free. Good enough, he thinks. He’s too excited to attempt much more. 

He finds Julian downstairs in the Bryan Ferry bedroom. He’s removed his tweed jacket, now left in a soft white button up and trousers. He cocks an eyebrow Noel’s way. “Convenient.” He says, gesturing toward the bed. 

“Wasn’t planned, you berk.” Noel explains, his face is full of mischief. “It’s art.” 

Julian lets out an “Uh hm..” as he backs Noel into a piece of the wall not covered with Bryan Ferry, his hands on Noel’s hips. Noel runs his hands up Julian’s chest, already half hard with the promise of being this close. Not even touched yet. 

Julian runs his fingers along the smudged remains of the makeup around Noel’s big blue eyes, a small bit left on his check. Noel is staring at him softly. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since the last time, they always just pick up right where they left off. 

Noel reaches up and cups Julian’s cheek and the curve of his jaw and brings him down to meet his lips. Soft, then more urgent with mouths opening, tongues gliding together as Julian presses him against the wall harder. They kiss with Noel holding Julian’s face in his hands as if he might float away if he doesn’t keep him anchored.

Julian bends to press kisses to Noel’s neck, pulling at the zipper down the middle of the dress just enough to reveal a collarbone and suck there. 

Noel thinks for just a brief second that they are being too risky here. Tania or another worker could let themselves in at any moment. He forgets all logic though when Julian reaches down to lift his dress again and grab at his arse, pulling him against him. An uncontrollable moan leaves his mouth and he ruts against him, lifting a leg to get a better angle against Julian’s erection straining through his trousers. After a whole night of feeling worked up they’re both ready for release. No way Noel could endure a taxi ride home now. 

Julian grabs him by the thigh, bringing his boot clad leg up further to pull him tighter and they move against each other, kissing open mouthed hot and wet. Noel hears the tiniest bit of rattling coming from the frames around them. 

Julian is unbuttoning his shirt as Noel makes quick work of his belt and trouser zip, shoving them down along with his pants. Noel grabs for the small tube of lube he threw into his pocket upstairs, coats his hand and takes Julian by the cock, giving him a couple long strokes.

Julian groans and unzips Noel’s dress to reveal a deeper V of chest. He doesn't undo it completely. Instead, he pulls and bunches up the fabric to reveal Noel’s desperately hard cock already glistening. He wraps his hand around both of their cocks, rubbing them together with delicious friction. 

Noel throws his head back against the wall, thrusts into Julian’s fist. They are both panting and frenzied. Noel places open mouthed kisses on Julian’s neck, sucking and licking. Julian is making low guttural noises as he works their cocks together, threading his other hand in Noel’s hair. 

Noel is already so close after bordering the edge of arousal all night. They’ve mastered the art of getting each other off quick and dirty when the situation calls for it, and this is surely one of those situations, but he knows he wouldn’t be satisfied with that tonight. 

He pulls Julian in for more deep kisses. The wet smack of their lips as they break for air echoes through the room along with the glide of Julian’s hand. Noel moans into the other man’s lips, lets the tip of his pointed tongue drag over his bottom lip and whispers “Fuck me, Ju.” 

Julian comes back to himself briefly as if only just now comprehending that he’s in a public art gallery/bakery with his trousers around his ankles and his hand around his best friend’s cock. Noel lets out a little whine as Julian stops stroking their cocks. He studies Noel for a moment, the remnants of his makeup, hair mussed, his little dress bunched up around his dick and a look on his face that is so full of affection and want it makes Julian’s heart squeeze. He starts kicking his trousers and pants over his shoes. 

Julian ducks his head, kisses the long line of Noel’s jaw over to his lips, takes the small tube from Noel’s pocket and coats his fingers while he sucks on Noel’s tongue. He teases his hand up Noel’s naked thigh under his dress to run over his arse and against his puckered hole. Noel moans as Julian circles and then works his finger inside the tight ring of muscle. 

Noel shifts his legs and pushes his arse back against Julian, slowly moving his hips as Julian moves the digit in and out. Noel’s dress moves around Julian’s hand softly caressing Noel’s skin.

Noel is grasping onto Julian, running his hands all over him, just pawing and grabbing. Julian moves his tongue against Noel’s as he adds a second finger, matches his tongue's movement with the rhythm of his fingers moving inside of him. He pushes in further, just brushes Noel’s prostate and Noel whimpers, moving his arse more insistently, fucking himself against Julian’s fingers. 

Noel’s dress is mostly undone but remains hanging off his frame with sleeves falling down his arms revealing wide swaths of pale chest. Julian slides his hand into the open V of Noel’s dress to play with a nipple and adds a third finger inside him, scissoring his fingers, opening him now with more purpose. 

Noel begs, voice strained and stilted, “Julian. Please.” 

Julian removes his fingers and brings Noel’s arms around his neck and lifts him off the ground. Noel’s legs wrap around him, golden boots hooking around Julian’s back. He walks them back toward the bed and sits with Noel still wrapped around him. 

Noel rubs his face against him, leaving soft kisses up and down his face, his jaw, anywhere he can reach. He shifts to plant his knees on the bed, placing a boot on each side of Julian’s hips as he pushes a hand to his chest encouraging him to swing his legs around and lie back. 

Noel covers Julian’s dick with more lube and reaches behind himself to coat his opening. He leans forward, sliding his hands up Julian’s chest, thumbs dragging over Julian’s nipples, eyes dark and mischievous. 

He moves his hand up around Julian’s neck to slide around his face, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. Julian is holding him by the hips as Noel lines Julian’s cock up to his opening. He works Julian’s lip and bites down gently, gasps against him as he glides down onto his cock slowly, filling himself inch by inch.

Julian groans at the feeling of Noel’s teeth and his cock slowly sinking into the tight wet heat simultaneously. It feels incredible and he has to resist the strong urge to tighten his hold on Noel’s hips and start thrusting up into him. Instead he runs his hands underneath the dress, up Noel’s back then down to clutch his arse where they are connected, giving them both time to adjust. 

Noel leans his cheek against Julian’s, breathing heavy with a small smile on his face, just enjoying the sensation of being filled before he slowly starts to move his hips. Finally he lifts himself off to slide Julian’s cock almost completely out and then back down. 

Julian feels Noel’s dick trapped against their stomachs, the dress moving around them as Noel builds a steady pace. Noel is so tight around his cock Julian is struggling to hold back. 

Noel pushes himself up to lean back on his haunches, the leather of his boots rubbing against Julian’s sides as he rides Julian’s cock. Julian grasps his thighs, stroking the hair and the tensing muscles as Noel works. He watches Noel and runs his hand up his dress over his stomach, settling on his hip bones again.

Noel’s body is a delicious mixture of effeminate softness and inexplicable masculinity and Julian enjoys all of it. He loves the surprise of Noel’s strength hidden under the guise of his usual gentle and coy manner. 

Noel whimpers, eyes closed clutching onto his own dress, moves a hand to run through his own hair as he rides. He leans forward again draping himself over Julian, mouthing at his jaw and neck. 

Julian runs his hand through his hair, gasps out “You feel so good, my god.” 

Noel smiles against him, starts to move more frantically, everything building.

Julian can no longer take it. Still inside Noel he moves to flip them on the tiny bed so that he’s on top. Noel lets out a moan that seems to fill the whole shop. Julian pushes Noel's leg up, fingers moving over soft worn in leather and starts thrusting in earnest.

Noel is nearly screaming his name, a steady litany of _Ju’s_ and _Ju-yins_ and _god_ ’s echoing off the framed portraits around the room. Julian is grunting as he pushes deeper and deeper, hitting Noel’s prostate with each thrust. The tiny bed creaks under the weight and movement. The canvas at the head of the bed is moving with their efforts. Julian cannot stop to be concerned for it. 

Noel reaches between them to pull his dress up and off his own cock. Julian moves with him, wrapping his hand around Noel’s smaller hand on his cock at the same time. It takes them one, two strokes before Noel is coming, arching his back and coating their hands.

Julian curses as Noel clenches around him and feels his own release build up. He leans forward to capture Noel’s lips. As they break apart Noel slides two of his fingers over Julian's open lips. Julian laps at them and the taste of Noel’s cum on his tongue sends him over the edge. He thrusts wildly, spilling into Noel’s tight heat wailing the younger man’s name into the quiet shop. 

They lie together after, face to face on their sides struggling to fit on the small bed. Noel has one sweaty golden boot thrown over Julian’s body to avoid sliding off the side entirely. They kiss lazily as Noel runs his hand tenderly over Julian’s back and Julian twists his hand into Noel’s messy hair.

Coming back to his senses Julian takes in their surroundings and a small giggle escapes him, threatening to turn into one of those full body laughs that he often reserves just for Noel. 

“Kinda creepy when you think about it.” He says, midway through a thought, but gesturing vaguely around the room he knows Noel will get it. 

Noel reaches to pat the Bryan Ferry canvas at the head of the bed. “Think this counts as a threesome?” 

Julian laughs again, mimes counting the portraits on the wall and suggests “Maybe a twenty-some?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to [kateyboosh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kateyboosh) for encouraging my nonsense and being my pervy mind twin partner in crime. 
> 
> And thank you for reading! Feedback is so very welcome.


End file.
